Fear as a Barrier to Fun

When the fear is so strong, it causes a barrier between you and what you want to do, how do you overcome it? Before I dive into what stopped me from having fun, let me tell you what I did for movement and strength this past week. I know I’ve been delinquent in listing my daily workouts like I have in previous posts so I would like to get into that groove again. Not that this past week was anything out of the ordinary but I find it interesting to look back at past accomplishments.

M – Indoor Row + TRX
I stick a 2000m row to see if I could break my fastest time. As a HIIT interval workout, I row 20secs as hard as I can, slow down for 20secs then do it all over again. Although I exercised while out on vacation, I know I didn’t do enough to improve my strength so it’s been a challenge to beat my time.

T – Hills with San Diego Track Club
This workout was up the 6th Ave hill near Balboa Park approx 275ft climb a little over a quarter mile in distance. If you’ve ever ran the AFC Half, it’s the final climb before the finish line.  I’ve missed a few of the series of hill workouts the past several weeks and I was a little unsure about it.  But I survived five repetitions of the hill climb while enduring the heat.

W – Off
R – 45 min Treadmill Run + Hip Mobility
It was my 6yr old’s first day in 1st grade.  Such a bittersweet moment.  Kindergarten was really hard as I cried when I said “See you Later”.  While this time around it was slightly easier to say our goodbyes, I still felt a bit anxious.  New teacher, new classmates.  It put me at ease that one of her good friends in kindergarten is in the same class.  Of course she was the least bit worried!

The treadmill run was uneventful as any other treadmill runs go.  I felt a little tired so I took it easy on myself.

F – At-home workout
S – Longish 9.5mi run
As I mentioned in my post ‘A Runner without a Race’, I haven’t been running as much.  This past Saturday was the longest I’ve ran in quite awhile.  I am helping a friend train for the NYC Marathon with a 15-miler scheduled so I decided to keep her company.   Unfortunately, she’s been consistently having off days losing her motivation to run. It’s mostly a mental game for her and we are trying to find ways to overcome it.

And speaking of overcoming barriers, let me finally address one of my fears.  Saturday afternoon we went to Coronado Beach with the intention of taking the paddleboard out for a ride.  I didn’t think much of it until we left the house when I had a vision of falling off as waves crashing caused me to lose my balance.  So I asked my husband if he remembered to bring the leash and he didn’t.  I knew then I wasn’t getting in the water as more visions of me falling off entered my head but this time I get caught in a wave and can’t manage to swim back to the board.

Even though I’m a better swimmer now, I’ve never been comfortable in the ocean.  It wasn’t until college when I finally forced myself one summer to learn the basic skills as it was a requirement to pass a swim qualification for the NROTC (Naval Reserve Officer Training Corps) scholarship I received.  It was a blessing I learned because the same summer I had to rescue my mom from being swept away by a rip current while we were vacationing in Ocean City, MD.  One minute I saw her near the shore and the next minute she was way far off in the distance yelling for me to help her.  I didn’t have time to be scared but immediately swam towards her, but eventually got tired during the swim back against the current.  Oddly enough, the lifeguard didn’t even spot us until much later after a kind gentleman helped both of us get back.  Already afraid of the unpredictable ways of the ocean, after that experience my fears were multiplied.

After we got settled with the girls already busy playing in the sand, I looked at the height of the waves and decided to hang out on the beach while my always daring husband took the paddleboard out.  I watched him paddle his way past the peaks onto the calmer side when he switched from paddling on his knees to standing.  This was when he lost his balance several times but found his way back up on the board.  Guess my problem is I’ve never fallen off the board so I’m not sure if I even know how to get back on it if I do.  It’s something I need to practice out on the bay where it’s calm.

The ocean doesn’t look as ominous on this photo but I swear the waves were much bigger!

Later that afternoon, I saw another SUP’er who was riding the waves as a surfer would do.  I thought that seems like a lot of fun.  I looked at the board on the beach and kept asking myself “Should I do, should I not?”  My husband did mention that some of the waves were six feet high which was intimidating to me.  When I went for a walk to search for sand dollars, I watched the ocean.  There were moments when it was absolutely calm and I was tempted to just do it. Unfortunately, I never built up the courage that day.  I know the ocean will be patiently waiting for me.  One day I will overcome this fear and have fun playing in the ocean.

Slight crack in the middle but otherwise a great find

What are you afraid of and how did you overcome it?

Late in the game but better late than never in linking up with the lovely ladies, Holly and Tricia for their Weekly Wrap. Thanks for the support!